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Because Russians are cold hearted for a reason
I was thinking the other day about why I am such a melodramatic person. Is it just me or is it because I am a Russian? It’s probably a combination of two for sure but the television that we grew up watching definitely had an impact shaping our views on relationship.
A short, 9 minute animation that comes to mind id Yuri Norstein’s My Green Crocodile1966. When revisiting it I realized just how dark and deep of a piece this was, and how deeply engrailed it was in my mind and interaction with men.
Imagine being a six year old kid, a six year old little girl to be more precise and watching the following cartoon. We were molded from childhood to deal with love in the most dramatic way possible, to learn how to sacrifice, to give away everything we have in order to give momentary satisfaction to someone we love.
This little number is too deep to discuss so briefly but it’s a brewing pot of discussion worthy themes such as ugly/beautiful, superficiality, true love, transformation, DEATH, life passages, rites of passage, etc…
In 1983, The Russian equivalent of Madonna, Alla Pugacheva, performed a song “Million of Roses”. Look at the lyrics:
http://lyricstranslate.com/en/million-alyh-roses-million-alykh-roz-million-scarlet-roses.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIFmhye6fqw
What the fuck. Once again. Sacrifice. Giving away everything you have just for someone else to experience a moment of joy. And in the end that is all the reward. You live your life in misery but only have that memory to hold on to. OH MY GOD. This more or less explains everything about me as a person and my absolute need for drama. Because love cannot be a smooth ride. It NEEDS to be painful and dramatic. Otherwise it will not fit into the standards of my childhood cartoons or of songs. Whatever will I listen to or watch if I am feeling happy? Jeez. Disney? Where everything ends well? Pffft. We were programmed to believe from the start that we were fucked and if we want to attain true love we have to be miserable. Love=sadness.
The list really goes on
“Cruel Romance” 1984. Beautiful, talented young woman is used as a toy by older men. Ends up dead.
Any poem by Eduard Asadov.
“Those who stepped down from Heaven”-the whole movie is what the protagonists’ life could have been if they weren’t dead
“In My death I beg you to blame Klava K.”-young love. death threats. ends with these great lines”
Boy: I love you.
Girl: It’s impossible
Boy: Possible
Girl: You will always be in love with Klava
Boy: That’s impossible
Girl: Possible (she walks away INTO THE SNOWY HORIZON)
Anyways, the list goes on. So if you are ever dating a Russian girl and she TURNS INTO A LEAF it’s because she probably likes you.
moustached boys make me pee in my pants
Recently I acknowledged that I have a serious moustache fetish. Unfortunately it seems that all of the dapper dudes who put time and consideration into their facial hair do not do the same for the opposite sex, a.k.a. me. Lesson learned: the flouncier, more perfumed and gravity resisting the stache, the more of an emotionally unavailable asshole the guy.
This got me thinking why did I have to bear this curse of my knees shivering every time a moustachio passed me and I blame the cinema I grew up with and the books I read. Yes, the following fellas are the early seedling of infatuations in my little child head.
a) Nikita Mikhalkov inthe Cruel Romance (жестокий романс) 1984. I could have gotten the hint then since the character played by him fucks over the main heroine and she dies in the end. Men are scum.
b) Hercule Poirot. Okay, I know that Agatha Christie had the tendency of describing him as a short, round guy with an egg shaped head but in my youthful fantasy this Belgian, with his moustache was a handsome, crime solving gentleman who could figure.me.out. 
P.S. This is not what he looked like in my head!!!
c) Andrej Mironov RIP. What a handsome guy and a total player. Also an amazing actor, eye candy for my poor, sore eyes with or without a furry animal on his face.
d) Anton Chekhov-NO SHAME. M-azing author.
e) As of now, Gogol Bordello is my current crush. Golden tooth and all. Rrrr the things I would do to this man.
Ummm thanks google for the picture of this guy. Now my masturbatory collection is complete. I’m off to cream (sorry mom)
